WHY MOST RELATIONSHIP SUCK AND HOW TO GET THEM FUNCTIONING IN DAYS

More often than not, we love with the mind of spending the rest of our lives with the person but things change on the long run. We practically can’t explain why but we know things are getting less interesting in the relationship. Maybe your partner seems not to be meeting up to the standard again or you just know something is wrong somewhere and you can’t figure it out.

It’s annoying, right? And damn depressing too (the statement wouldn’t be complete without adding that to it.

I wonder sometimes and wondering keeps me abased. Anyways, life can get more interesting if only things go the way we want and that relationship remain sweet as it was when you met your partner. Enough of the talk, let’s get to business.

REASONS YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS LACKING THE SPICES

  FAMILIARITY: It’s normal to get familiar with someone you are in a relationship with. You know a lot of things about him/her and do things around him/her you do around your parents and siblings.

One way to kill your budding relationship is to get too familiar with your partner. What do I mean by this? When I meet new people, most times, I give them all the attention they need just to feel at home but after few weeks I start showing them the part of me that takes no nonsense. 

Still good, right? If people now get so close, they start seeing the how firm I can be with my decisions. There is nothing wrong with this.

Most people get so familiar with their partner so much that they begin to do things anyhow. They stop doing things they do when they first met. If normally, you guys talk on phone at least twice a day, the calls reduce because of more commitment you’ve got now. But I tell you, that should not stop you from being the lady/guy he/she met some times ago. Rekindle your love. 

Don’t get too familiar with your spouse that you don’t dress up just for him once in a while. Just wake up one day and do things just for him.

·         OVER EXPECTANCY: When I was much younger, I dreamt of having a husband that will be very romantic. I wanted him to cuddle up with me every now and then. Just me and me. Every weekend, we will go out on dates, take the kids to their grandparents, enjoy my honeymoon every weekend and all.

The truth is things don’t usually happen as planned. Do I even have the time to be cozy every weekend now? Don’t misquote me.  Nothing is wrong with this. It’s just that I have so much expectation that if I should have anything below what I envisioned, I will feel cheated. I still want to go on date frequently with my partner but will every weekend work?

Some of us, we have a telepathic view of what our partner should be and do. Nothing is wrong in planning for the best relationship, I want one too but we set so much high expectations that when things are not going the way we want we begin to feel bad about the whole thing and that might make us even think twice about staying in the relationship.

·         YOUR PARTNER IS BECOMING AUTHORITATIVE: You see that we are moving from the simpler ones to the more technical ones, right? I would rather live with a tamed lion than live with a roaring dog.  Your partner was probably all lovey-dovey when you met but as you stay longer in the relationship he became a dictator. That relationship will definitely suck.

·         NO INTIMACY: If you are married and there is no intimacy between you and your husband, the relationship will surely suck. I am not talking about sex here, you guys might be having good sex but lack intimacy. For example, you might be going to church but that doesn’t mean you know God. In fact, you might be praying to him when you wake up in the morning but still lack intimacy with him. There is a deeper level of communion with God that will launch you into a deeper dimension with him.

Are you getting me at all? You know yourself that all you have is good sex not intimacy and that is no relationship. You can’t go anywhere on the intimacy level if you aren’t intimate.

ALERT!!! Never equate sex to intimacy.

There are more reasons why relationship sucks but we gonna have to stop at this for now. In subsequent posts, we will discuss more or you can do well to point some out in the comment box. I have a freebie for the first 5 persons to comment.

WHAT TO DO?

Each of the answer to be listed below is to the problems listed respectively.

1.      Avoid being too familiar with your partner. Be unpredictable sometimes. Give him puzzles to solve sometimes. Be smart and be dynamic. Don’t be too complacent about your relationship. Do things to spice it up. Dress up just for him sometimes. Same applies to the guys. Don’t let her be the only one fighting to keep the marriage functioning.

2.      Be realistic and come with terms with the fact that you can’t always get what you want but you can make it better. Try as much as possible not to allow your expectations ruin the lovely relationship you will have with your partner. You can even suggest he does some things but don’t be too demanding.

3.      The first thing I would advise you do is to talk to your partner about it. If after doing this and he is unyielding you can now think of ways to let him know he is being authoritative. You should be submissive but never allow any guy to turn you into a door mat. If you aren’t married yet, that is a red flag for you.
 4.      You need to talk to your partner about this. Intimacy is the level of connectedness between you and your partner. There is a need for you to connect on different levels. Talk to him about ways you think you can connect with him. Build trust. Increase time spent together. Discover an interface between the individual and your lives as couples.
 To your happiness!

I hope these are helpful enough? You can do well to comment your view or anything you would love to share. Do well to contact me on sondeodunayo08@gmail.com to connect more with me. 

Image credit: Pana Kutlumpasis from Pixabay